I often venture into the supermarket unsupervised. About a month ago I had a particularly eventful trip. I thought I’d share. It all began when I asked a fella in produce to direct me towards the cereal aisle. He shot a few quick glances to verify we had sufficient privacy. “I know what you’re looking for, and you won’t find it in a box sporting Tony the Tiger.” I responded with a puzzled look. He flashed a wicked grin and lead me across the store, towards the back behind the organic toothpaste.
As I rounded the corner a fantastic scene opened before my eyes. There was a party being held in my local grocery store. The aisle was crowded with long haired hippy-types, all lounging about and being groovy. Anxiety and curiosity rolled about in my stomach until they extended warm greeting and welcomed me into their fold.
I reclined in the grass by a small circle of my new friends. They were passing around a bowl. Each would eat a spoonful from the bowl, then melt into a satisfying release. I looked in the bowl they placed in my lap. Best I could tell it was granola cereal. I looked around at my new friends. A few were still adrift in bliss. Others were watching me, encouraging me with their lethargic smiles. Maybe it was a moment of courage or possibly a casual disregard for caution. Either way, I took a bite. Om nom nom. This was some good shtuff. I went for another bite but a thin bearded fellow in the back got up on his knees called out, “Crunch, crunch, pass, man! Crunch, crunch, pass! You’re messin’ up the rotation!” I assumed an apologetic pose and handed the bowl to the girl next to me.
I turned to my friend from produce and asked about the heavenly breakfast cereal. He handed me a box that read Nature’s Path Hemp Plus. I pretended to be surprised, but deep down part of me knew something so good couldn’t be legal. I gave it back to him and explained that I couldn’t bring that stuff home. He gave me a lopsided grin and explained the second one’s free. “Um, don’t you mean the first one’s free?”, I asked. He explained the cereal was buy one, get one free with my Kroger card.
Noah found the box last night. His eyes were drawn to the big text on the back of the box that clarifies why hemp is not marijuana. I tried to explain I eat it for my Glaucoma. He put a bit in his mouth and declared it was a bit oily. Hey, that’s all the more for me.