Authentic community is like weight loss. They are both things most people pursue, but few understand they can’t be rushed, purchased or forged. The best way to both is through sacrifice and effort. Just as love is more than romantic gestures, real community is more than mere entertainment. The world is always dangerous and difficult place, and we are fragile. Community implies people sharing their strengths and resources to help mitigate each other’s hardships. Yesterday I had an encounter that helped me understand how important authentic community is to me.
You won’t find our neighbor’s home on the cover of Better Home and Gardens. They keep the simple yard mowed, but the house is quickly falling into disrepair. It needs a new roof, gutters, paint and window treatment–and that says nothing of the interior. The driveway and curb are always filled with cars–a mixture of visitors and residence.
Yesterday our neighbor came by to ask my wife’s advice about how to best academically serve their littlest boy, Kevin, this summer. Kevin and his sister were the first to greet me when I moved into this big empty house nearly 2 years ago. Kevin is especially friendly. He is only 8, yet he always takes time to make conversation with me when he sees me. He doesn’t do it for lack of attention. He is the beloved baby of a large family. My wife made some phone calls and passed along her recommendations to the family. She agreed to carpool with Kevin since she is teaching summer school. It works both ways. Kevin’s family has offered me food from their grill. They mow the grass between our driveways, even though part is my lawn. They’ve trimmed our the trees between our houses when I was unable to complete the job. I’m certain they would offer more if we asked.
After the visit it occurred to me that I prefer to live next to a family from a run down home that felt comfortable asking for our help over strangers that live in a pristine home. Okay, I grant you it isn’t an easy choice–and I can’t swear I’d hold to those values if my house were on the market. The visit also brought me to reflect on the half dozen homes we have a similar relationship with and the handful of friendly faces I’ve recently met that will probably join those ranks after some time.
June 19th, 2008 at 11:24 am
[...] about fear stemming from crime in my neighborhood. It’s funny because not even a month ago my husband wrote about how much he loved the community in our neighborhood. And then our other neighbor’s fence was tagged right next to my bedroom window. Talk about [...]