The nature of co-parenting has been a prominent thought in my head for about a year now. Co-parenting is an unnatural abortion created when our noble and corrupt natures are forced to compromise. Our corrupt nature is the root of even the most amicable divorces. Public conscience has constructed a means ensuring the pair can share the blessings and burdens of rearing children caught in the crossfire of a divorce. Co-parenting isn’t the intended order of things, but it is necessary.
Love motivates married couples to trust, forgive and compromise. Despite all this, raising a child is still a challenge. Now consider people that were unable to trust, forgive and compromise in the name of love. How do they raise a child without these tools?
The politics of some divorces are similar to those exercised by two nuclear armed counties. Allow me explain. Should any country fire modern nuclear weapons everyone loses–even neighboring countries. (Modern nuclear warheads are exponentially more powerful than Fat Man.) Pressing the big red button is never really an option, and you pray the other fella always remains sane and calm enough to understand that. Couples that were once intimate are capable of critically wounding each other. Just as in a nuclear strike, such an attack hurts everyone: children, relatives, both co-parents. When disagreements arise or stress mounts, both hope the other is rational and responsible enough to keep the finger off the button. To that end both co-parents trust, forgive and compromise but the motivation is more fear than love.
I do not mean to imply that fear is the only emotion that rules co-parents. I imagine most couples relate to my analogy to different degrees. My cold war analogy contains other facets that shed light on the mechanics of many divorced parents. I have highlighted the simplest and most common.