Don’t Bite the Hand that Cleans You
The last quarter of the year is always difficult for Sheppard House. Every October our necessary obligations escalate into an avalanche that clogs the family calendar until January. Every year we get a little better at taming the holiday schedule. This year our deft family management ushered in the tranquility that accompanies the new year nearly a month early. Elise even managed to apply some of the slack in the schedule to whittle through some items we placed on the back burner. Among them was dental appointments.
As the dental hygienist made conversation she made a passing mention at the volume of business the dentist oversees near Christmas. She could not understand why so many people scheduled dental appointments around the holidays. I politely explained that dentists were in a service industry, yet they work the same hours as their clients. Hence, the clients must use their time off to schedule service. I compared it to banks, who have recently begun to change their schedules. Although my point was valid I probably should have held my tongue until she was finished wielding those sharp instruments in my mouth. Mental note: dental hygienists are very protective of their office hours.
Settlers of Catan
The end of our last family holiday gathering concluded with a cut-throat game of Settlers of Catan between the Sheppards and the Shaffers. No surprise, I brought home the gold. Settlers of Catan has been my favorite board game since I discovered the game 2 years ago. The only trouble is finding people to play with. I decided to summarize the rules while showing exactly how the game is designed to maximize everyone’s fun. Maybe I can win a few new fans. However, I must warn you. You won’t find this game in Walmart next to Milton Bradley’s greatest hits. Settlers of Catan is the breakaway hit generated by “independent games”. A special breed of geeks develops cultish followings many independent games which are often kept in a corner of your local comic book store. However, just as Star Wars has more mainstream appeal than Battlefield Earth, Catan has earned a spot on the shelfs at Target and some bookstores due to the recognition it received for the many awards it has won throughout the world.
The game board is a large island made of different hex shaped tiles. Each type of tile is associated with geography and that geography’s natural resource. Forests produce wood. Mountains produce ore. Dice rolls determine which tiles produce resources and players with towns next to those tiles collect the corresponding resource. This means that at the opening of each player’s turn, any player is likely to get new resources. Players return their resources in order to build more towns which must be connected by roads. Everyone is encouraged to trade in order to get the combination of resources they need. No one plays a mere spectator between turns. There is always something to keep players attention.
The game punishes people that hoard cards, further motivating players to trade in order to gain what they need. When any player rolls a 7, anyone hoarding more than 7 resource cards must discard half their hand. That player must also move the “robber”. The robber is a figure on the board. The hex tile he resides on is incapable of producing resources even if the number of the tile is rolled. The tile can produce resources only after the robber is moved again. Players can move the robber by playing “army” cards they draw from a deck of utility cards that can be purchased with their resources. This is one of the few means players can attempt to block another player’s path to victory.
No one enjoys playing a game when failure is certain and slow. Settlers of Catan avoids that problem in three ways. First, there are many different ways to win the game. The goal is to earn 10 victory points. Victory points are earned in many different ways. Points are awarded for towns. Certain utility cards the players can purchase award victory points. Two points are awarded for maintaining the longest road or the largest army. Largest army refers to the player who has played the most army cards during the game. The variety of means helps to avoid situations where players have no means to win. Chances are likely there is some way a player can word towards victory points.
Second, the social aspect of the game levels the playing field. Players are unwilling to trade with players on the cusp of winning. They are much more willing to trade with people they don’t see as threatening. Hence, those far behind progress quickly and others stall just before victory.
Just as a slow demise is frustrating, large swings in the score make for an exciting game. Yet too many swings can make the game seem too random. As you may recall, players can invoke a 4 point swing by building the largest road or army, both of which are fairly cheap. A 4 point swing can reduce a hefty lead like 8 – 4 to a mere tie.
Have I earned your interest? If so, go buy a copy and share it with your friends. Folks with an Xbox can play a version in the on-line arcade. Give me a call when you find time. I’m always up for a game.
10.11.08More Appliance Woes…
Why do I feel compelled to write about our new appliance purchases? -sigh-
The washer I bought right out of college had been suffering from senile dementia. She was the first washer I owned. I bought her right out of college. Freed from the fetters of the laundry mat, I could leave my laundry unattended. It served as a perfect excuse for friends to waste a few hours at my place. Eight years later she began eating holes in our towels and leaving spots of bleach on our colors. Elise asked me to put her down. I reluctantly agreed.
It wasn’t long ago I agreed to invest in a larger fridge. You may recall not long before that our microwave and dishwasher were sabotaged. Our oven isn’t the one that came with the house. Frustrated with flimsy appliances, I calculated that the cost per week of my washer and dryer (disregarding utility costs) was about $2.00. Two dollars!? The laundry mat only charged $0.75 to wash a load, and the price included power and water! I concluded the in-home washer is just a dream perpetuated by the Whirlpool and Maytag to boost their bottom lines. They don’t save money! I contemplated forming a lobby to have the government subsidize the laundry appliance industry.
Elise did lots of research and we took home a new lower end, front loading Frigidaire dryer and a matching refurbished washer. The cost was on par with my original washer, but the appliances had come a long way since then. Both are so quiet we plan to replace the linen closet doors with a curtain. They weighs each load to compensate for different sizes. Each shows the estimate time remaining until the load will be complete. They also feature more features for delicate lady clothes, even though we took the model with the fewest bells and whistles. Both use less water and power, and are gentler on our clothes. The proof is in our incredibly clean less trap.
Our only complaint: both appliances have electronic inputs. Buttons break. Dials don’t. As our ill-fated luck with appliances would have it, our washer’s circuit board shorted before we could start our first load. We’ve been two weeks now without a washer.
Last weekend I had to lug our laundry to the local laundry mat. For all my trouble I will grant it was an educational experience. First, even the blue collar joint I visited featured all energy-star front loading machines. I’m certain the owner did his research and was interested in value, not style. Second, it turns out the prices have inflated a bit since my trips to the laundry mat back in Mobile. It cost me $9.00 just to wash (not dry) a week’s worth of laundry for my family. I suppose these appliances aren’t such a bad investment after all.
09.28.08Madison’s Bad Day
The Kitchen is Closed
Tuesday we discovered a simple but crucial part of our dishwasher is missing! Without that key component, our family is forced to return to the old fashioned means of washing dishes: making the women and children wash them by hand. (Wha? Me? But I’ll get dish wash hands!) The prospect of ordering a replacement part is irritating. The silverware basket was missing when we purchased this unit from a couple on craigslist. We expected to easily find a makeshift solution. We had no such luck and in the end were forced to fork over $30 for a replacement part.
Yesterday the microwave exploded `asploded as Elise tried to nuke a bag of popcorn for our guests. You might expect such an explosion would bury us in an avalanche of crispy kernels and bestow mutant powers upon us during the shower of rogue microwaves emitted during the explosion. The reality of the incident is much more mundane: smoke, a little flame and an unbearable stench.
Are these kitchen catastrophes somehow linked? Who might be behind such a nefarious plot? Stay tuned!