Verizon’s Lame SMS Policies
Cell phones are standard parenting equipment. Kids can wander far from the house yet never be out of ear shot when an emergency arises. The phone means security to parents. It means freedom and power for kids. Madison was recently caught abusing her phone privileges. The evidence were text messages left in her inbox. It is nearly impossible to catch these incriminating messages because she is smart enough to promptly delete them.
I called Verizon to learn of any service that might let me review her text messages on-line or possibly have them forwarded to my phone. I’d expect something like this given Verizon charges $655.36 for 1 MB of text messages. The representative informed me that Verizon did not provide these kinds of services because each would be an invasion of privacy. Excuse me? I explained that I was her legal guardian and paid for the account. He explained that I would need a warrant in order to see the messages since I am not the owner of the phone. I thought I might register her phone in my name. I asked if Verizon could disclose to me my own text messages since there would be no privacy issue. He answered that the only way to view the message was on the phone or with a warrant. I find it hard to believe Verizon does not keep a record of these tiny messages. Google grants me 7 gigabytes of space for free. Verizon charges us a 7314% markup on data costs to send these God forsaken tendy messages. (Not that I’m bitter.)
American concept of “right to privacy” is a load of crap. You get back here young lady! Don’t think I won’t pursue that warrant!
Chris is Sick: Movie Reviews
I tell Elise not to bring her work home with her, so she brought home the crud instead. So here I am, a week into a new job praying the kids and I don’t catch her bug. Fortunately I didn’t get sick until Friday. So the pair of us spent the weekend watching movies so you have to endure a few more posts about the movies I’ve seen.
I love a good apocalyptic film, especially those steeped in social commentary. 28 Days later delivers this through the ol’ zombie virus. Classic. –and especially appropriate since my wife had given me the plague. Most of this film is suspenseful and quiet, giving the audience time to ponder the severity of the catastrophe and magnifying the danger of any encounter with the infected. The film takes a drastic turn towards drastic, heroic action towards the end. It reminded me of a line from the brilliant film Adaptation. It doesn’t matter how bad a film is so long as it delivers in the last 30 minutes. Anyone turned off by the pace and mood of the first of the film will be happy with everything after the climax. Most people compare 28 Days to I am Legend, but since I’ve yet to see that film I was reminded of Children of Men. I’d recommend either. Children of Men is more polished, and the social commentary seems aimed more at a post 9-11 world. I’d recommend both films, but Children of Men won’t pander to people looking for an easy or shallow story.
I caught Chocolat on TV …twice. The film is just that good. The theme is the same as Footloose, but Chocolat is a higher caliber film. It is set in a morally oppressive, legalistic French village in the 1950s. The simple pleasures of life are represented by chocolate rather than dance. Chocolat has class, and perfect dialog with actors carry their roles with subtle expressions. This makes a perfect Valentine’s Day treat.
Now pardon me, I have a Scrubs marathon to catch *cough* *cough*
Stardust
Stardust is a perfect combination of The Fifth Element and The Princess Bride. The film lampoons cliche story elements with dry wit. The visuals were stunning. Wonderful pace and plot. I went in expecting the worst. I’d watch it again.
Cloverfield
I wouldn’t call these spoilers but the less you know going in, the more you’ll enjoy Cloverfield. Precede with caution.
Folks draw a connection between this film and Blaire Witch, but Cloverfield reminded me more of Steven Spielberg’s War of the Worlds and Night of the Living Dead. All 3 films take a simple premise and follows through as realistically as they can. They sacrifice an entertaining story, memorable speeches and a clear explanation of events in exchange for such a realistic point of view. For my money, War of the Worlds has the perfect mix of polish and “realism”. Cloverfield has better action and “jump” moments, the audience earns each scene by enduring long stretches of crappy camera work. Alien is the first film I can recall where the direction intentionally hid the threat from the audience. The idea was that their imaginations would scare them more than anything they could put on the screen. That is particularly true for me so I was happy with how well Mr. Abrams handled his monster shots. Again, I liked the personal story but polished feel of War of Worlds, so naturally I thought the camera work was the weakest link in this film. Half the time I felt it unlikely someone would leave the camera running during the more dangerous scenes. The other half I didn’t care about the camera man’s safety so long as he secured a clear shot of the action.
Beeing Hard on Jerry
The media is aswarm with bees this week with Jerry’s new Bee Movie. It started with sincere disappointment. How could someone who forever changed sitcoms turn to second-rate, family-friendly CG films? Now both legit and fictional news outlets are starting to let into his more legitimate cultural contributions. All this reminded me of the AmEx “webisodes” that stared Seinfeld and the man of steel. If I recall, these were released before viral marketing was common. Despite the novelty of the new marketing medium, the content of the shows still rely heavily on the “show about nothing” formula Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David created in the 90s. Speaking of which, Let’s take a look at Larry David’s post-Seinfeld accomplishments. Mr. David’s is responsible for HBO’s Curb Your Enthusiasm. The show’s novel twist is the lacked a strict script. The actors understood the general plot and ad libbed the rest. Charlie Chaplin took it farther when he originally explored this idea. He would film without a complete story. The method requires more takes and editing. In the end, Larry David’s show looks a great deal like a stale Seinfeld script, even if critics would have you believe otherwise. The point is neither Larry nor Seinfeld has contributed much to comedy outside the “show about nothing” concept. The question is, “is that a bad thing?” Some people are rife with contributions to their field like Nicolea Tesla or Thomas Edison. Others are like Einstein: one hit wonders, no matter how big that hit may be. Although the stars of Seinfeld shouldn’t feel pressured to shake things up again and again, I would offer them this advice: The best artists only show their best work to give the impression everything they do is gold.